Keeping a Promise...

I know this is a long shot. But- I promised two boys in Ghana I would try. Oleman (13) and Askia (11) have begged me to come to America. I got a message from Oleman that went something like this:




Carrie- God bless you. Please. Come back and take us. The reason we want to go to America is so we can continue our education. If you cannot come, please- send a friend to come and take us. Please do not forget about us.



And I can't forget about them. I fell in love with Askia last year on my first trip to Ghana. He is such a sweet, caring child. He held my hand as we went through a part of a path that wasn't too safe. He told me which people were okay to talk to, and who I should avoid. Maybe all of the people were great people, but he is pretty protective.

 Me & Askia

Me & Askia

I actually didn't know much about Oleman until after I returned to America. He acts like my children's elder brother. He would call from the orphanage and let me talk to Serwaa & Konto during that long year until I would see them again.

Oleman

I am aware that older boys are at the bottom of the totem pole in the adoption world. Especially when there are two of them. But I promised I would ask. Promised I would pray. Promised I would try.


A social welfare report has not been completed for the boys yet. However, the orphanage directress feels that they would be declared free for international adoption. If anyone is interested, I know most of their family history.

It's so hard because they are old enough to understand that they are being left behind. Their orphanage is really great. They are doing good things. But that still doesn't stop these boys from wanting something more.

If you know anyone interested, please pass this info along. If not, please at least pray that someone will find them. They deserve a family. Every child at least deserves that.

A Different Kind of Christmas...

I love Christmas. Absolutely love it. I love the way the Christmas tree smells. I love the bright tacky lights outside. I love wrapping presents. I love watching 'Elf" countless times. I love going to my Grandmas's house. And of course- I love eating!



Christmas has been just about the same for the past several years. We've rushed around shopping for everyone. Talked about Santa Claus. Spoiled Malorie with way too many presents. Bought very expensive things that she really doesn't need. And in short just spent way too much money.


This year is different. Not bad, just different. Since the recent travel to Ghana & back (bringing our kids home), we don't have the ability to spend ungodly amounts of money like before. Of course, everybody is still getting presents. Just not as much (or as big) as we had planned.


But- it's okay. Christmas isn't just about presents. It's been a different kind of Christmas. We've tried to shift the focus off of presents and on to other things. We have been baking things for our neighbors EVERY day. (I am no baker, but everything has been good so far.) The kids have delivered the cookies & pies, and even went caroling last night! (Their idea, not mine.)


We have read stories about Jesus being born. We have watched Christmas movies. We have made Christmas ornaments and listened to Christmas music. It has been kind of nice, actually.


When Konto was praying last night, he told God 'thank you that we make things and share with the people'. It was so sweet. They said that at the orphanage, there were some Muslim people who lived close by. On Christmas, they would cook and have the children come over & eat with them. Five children at a time would go and eat from a large bowl there. They have also received those gifts in a shoebox at Christmas. But I guess this is the first time they've been on the giving end.


I hope our typical Christmas starts to look a little more like this one. (Not the being broke part.) The simple part. Just hanging out together. Doing things for other people, just because. Remembering what Christmas is really about.


Now I'm off to sleep. All of the kids are sleeping on the living room floor. I used to love doing this as a kid. Staring at the Christmas tree 'til I fell asleep. Christmas really is the best.
 
 

Grocery Store....

I know. It doesn't sound too exciting. But I love going to the grocery store. It is so much fun to watch people's expression when I'm out shopping with my 3 kids. We are in the south, afterall. Inter-racial adoption isn't as common here as it is elsewhere.

When Serwaa or Konto call out "Mommy!", everyone within earshot watches with unabashed curiosity to see if I respond. They will then stay on our aisle just to watch us.
What makes it even funnier is what usually comes after "Mommy!" For instance, "What is THAT!!???" To anyone else, it is just a pack of hotdogs. People stare in amazement at the fact that these 9 & 7 year old children have never seen a hotdog before. Then comes the next string of questions. (My kids know the words 'hot' and 'dog'. Imagine what must be going through their minds at that point!) Haha!

Next example: In Target, Konto asked me to buy a pack of crackers. (My default answer is NO.) So, when I actually picked it up, Konto said (very loudly) "That is my MOTHER!!!!" Then proceeded to dance down the aisle right past the onlookers.

We also went to McDonalds recently. I absent-mindedly asked if they wanted chicken nuggets or a cheeseburger. Totally forgot to explain it to them in the car. We had to step out of the line so that I could explain a cheeseburger. Got some weird looks for that, too.

I have to say, grocery shopping & fast food have never been more interesting!
 
 

Two Waters...

There are two waters in Ghana. One is a bad water. He does not like the people of Ghana. If you ask him to help you make someone die, he will help you.

The other water is a good water. He thinks the people of Ghana are good. He will not help you to kill someone.


The water can take the shape of a man.

One day Lordina (a girl who lives at the orphanage) & her friend were walking along a path. They saw an old man. He was poor, and had little clothing. Lordina's friend laughed and laughed at him. But this man was the water. He cursed her for not treating him kindly. He said that she will never have children because of this. Then, he turned back into the water, and disappeared.

The girl often walks the same path looking for the man. She wants to apologize so that the curse can be lifted, so that she can have children one day. But, she has never seen him again.


-As told to me by Serwaa, December 2011

Konto...

Konto is such a fun boy. He has the cutest laugh & a great smile. Plus, he's just plain adorable. He has done really well adjusting so far. Maybe it's easier on him since he's a little younger than Serwaa. He doesn't usually cry. When he does, it's pretty short lived. However, he is a major pouter. He could out-pout anyone I know.

He could also out-eat anyone I know. He will say 'Mommy I'm hungry' at least 100 times a day. And part of the time he's lying in the floor moaning as he says it. Even as he stumbles into my room half-asleep in the morning. Those have been his first words EVERY morning since we got home!

I still don't know how to tell how well they kids are doing with attachment. They seem to be doing okay. Konto actually told me 'I love you' last night as I tucked him in. First time he's said it at night here. He has yet to say it while making eye contact, but we'll get there eventually.

This morning during church he fell asleep in my lap. It made me wonder when was the last time he's been held as he slept. My guess is about 4 years. A friend once told me that he slept on her on one of her visits to the orphanage when he was about 3. So sad how long they've gone without any individualized affection. He really does loves to be hugged and carried around.

I FINALLY got his lab results back. They said it's all good. Not a single parasite. I'm a little skeptical though, since the results seemed to be lost for so long. Hopefully the lab didn't just say it was all normal just because they didn't want to re-do it! (Konto was a mess at the lab. Four people had to hold him down. And he cried the whole time.) The doctor was also suprised that it was normal. Konto's spleen sticks out a little, so the doctor thought there would be something there that would cause it. But he said maybe it's just because he's so skinny.

I really do love this boy. He's so sweet. Every time his clothes are too small, he asks me to mail them to Eugene or Amankwa (his friends at the orphanage). He even put 'washing machine' on his Christmas list because ours broke! He's really just the best son anybody could have!
 
 

Konto Wofayaw Knight

Stories...

The kids had so much fun today! We made Christmas lists. Maybe we shouldn't have tried to explain Santa Claus. (Or Christmas Father, as they call him.) They know who he is, but had no idea he brought presents. They wanted to know how he gets in, how he gets their letters, how he knows which house is ours... They are so confused!


Serwaa & Konto talked & talked today. I love to hear their stories. Serwaa told me about catching birds with her older brother. (I didn't know she remembered him at all. They were seperated when she was 4 years old.) They would go into the woods, and he would shoot them with a sling shot. Or, he would 'walk small-small' (sneak up on the bird) and put a basket over it!

They also told about their friend Yadudu raising a baby chicken names Janet. When it grew up, it had three babies. They named them Janet, Felicity and Jennifer. Then, Yadudu ate the mother.


Another girl named Serwaa also raised a chicken. It had one leg. The girls would sneak some of their food to the chicken everyday. When it died, they all cried.

They talked about Ghana's presidents, and their opinions of them. Then they quoted a poem about Ghana they learned in school.



They told about how well Yadudu can break dance, how Faith and Eugene write left-handed, and how the cooks don't like Amankwa because he cries when he is hungry, and when he eats okra.


I know the stories are pointless to everyone else. But I hope my kids will always remember them. (I had to write them down, because I know I'll forget!)



And last but not least, Malorie taught them to slide down the stairs...

Serwaa...

Well, we are finally done with all of the kids' lab work! So glad to be done collecting urine & stool samples!!! Monday we got the results for Serwaa's labwork. The doctor said it was all pretty good! He said they did find two 'things'. He said in all of his 20 years, he had never heard of them. He looked up the first one (don't even know the name). He said treatment is controversial; so if there are no symptoms, he will do nothing. The other 'thing' that showed up as positive wasn't even in his medical book. So if it's anything important he will call back to let me know (once he finds out what it is).




Serwaa is really a very sweet, loving girl. I am so lucky to be her momma. Although she can be a drama queen, she is also very quiet alot of the time. If only I knew what she was thinking.




While she seems generally happy, she does cry sometimes. She never says why. She did tell her friend once that she dreamed she was being choked. She cried & said her throat hurt most of that day. She also cried when trying to write a letter to her 'Ghana mother' (her Aunt who raised her until age 4). I really think she doesn't know how she's supposed to feel about her. She didn't know what to say. She asked me to write a letter, and she would just copy it. So I did. The only line Serwaa added was "I am very happy". Later, we wrote a letter to send 'Grandmother' (the orphanage directress). I also wrote that letter. But Serwaa did add "Here is good. Thank you for helping me to come here. My father, mother and sister are very good. God bless you."




She is starting to try more foods, although she still doesn't like most of them. Especially vegetables.


On Saturday, she went to a birthday party with my daughter. I know you're supposed to stay with your children non-stop for awhile, but I let her go. She actually had fun. When she got home, she ran in to hug and kiss me a million times. So sweet. She also still tells me she loves me almost every day. I am so blessed with this girl.

Serwaa Akweleyaa Knight