My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day...

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

8am- I returned my rental car after two weeks. (Yes, it took Aamco 2 WEEKS to fix my transmission. Side note- it has only been 6 months since the last time they 'fixed' it.) I paid my $350 for the rental car, then went to Aamco to pick up my minivan. On the way home I noticed it was making the same noise as before they fixed it. Sounds like an airplane taking off. Then- I also notice an awful noise that it wasn't even making before they 'fixed' it. This one sounds like an old washing machine with bad berrings. Then the 'Drive' light starts blinking. (Which usually indicates the transmission is going out.)


9am- I go to Verizon to upgrade to a new phone. It's a touch screen. It's VERY hard to hit the right letters
when I type.


10-2pm: Homeschool


3pm- Go to pick up Malorie's friend from school. My car won't start back. I am blocking the whole school pickup line. Someone comes to jump me off, and informs me whoever put my battery in last (Aamco) didn't bother tightening the connections. They just laid the cables on top of the battery. They slightly tighten it so my car will start.


4pm- Park at home. The battery disconnects again, so the doors can't unlock. Me and 4 kids climb out the
window.


5pm- Fix the battery connections. Call Aamco to tell them I will take the car elsewhere & send them the repair bill. They are VERY rude & say the will refuse to pay it. Take Malorie & a friend to Tae Kwon Do. Come home to clean house.


6pm- Leave to pickup kids from Tae Kwon Do. A girl doesn't see me and runs into the side of my van. (At least she was very nice!) Call the police. He says he has about 10 minutes of paperwork to do. Then the monsoon starts. We wait in the car until almost 7pm for it to clear up enough for him to get back out of his car. (I don't blame him, it was POURING/hailing.)


7pm- Get home. Notice Konto's side has a big lump. Usually wouldn't be concerned, but his spleen kinda sticks out in that same spot. Nobody needs a squashed spleen. Take him to hospital to get looked at just in case.


8:30pm- Konto had to pee. I took him to the bathroom. The doctor came to our room. I told her that he'd be back in 30 seconds. She said she'd just come back in a minute.

10pm- Phone battery dies.

10:30pm- Another doctor FINALLY came into our room. They took x-rays. All looks fine.


11pm- Eat supper. Put kids to bed. Since my computer is dead, type this whole chain of events on facebook with my new (VERY sensitive) phone. With one finger.


12am- As I was trying to post on FB, accidentally deleted THE WHOLE THING. It had taken almost an hour to type.

= LONGEST DAY EVER

Post MiniVan Depression...

I have a confession to make. I have post-minivan depression. Don't get me wrong- I love the minivan, with it's heated seats, DVD player & seating for 7 people. In fact, usually I wish I had enough kids to drive one of those 15 passenger vans. In general, vans are great.


But.........


It all started on Cinco de Mayo. I was able to go out WITHOUT all of the kids. I didn't take the minivan. I rode with a friend. I gotta be honest, it felt pretty amazing pulling up to the restaurant in a real
car. In fact, the coolness was so overpowering that it had several side effects. There was a little more
swagger in my step. I spoke to the grownups in the restaurant instead of playing with their kids. I even lost
the scrunchie. It was a fine night indeed!


Then came Tuesday. Since my transimission has been acting up again, I indulged in the guilty pleasure of
looking up rental cars online. The thrill could only compare to being on one of those dating sites for the
first time- where you get to shallowly judge a person solely based on a single photo. I knew most of those cars weren't right for me (and my 5 person family), but they just looked so darn good! The longer I lusted over those sleek, sexy cars- the more distant I felt from the minivan. Eventually though, I just decided to go with whatever cheap car they put me in.


In the heat of my disdain for the minivan, I was all too happy to drop it off at the transmission shop. I didn't
even look back as I got in the car with the Hertz man. When we arrived at the car rental center, there was an air of excitement. Like a blind date!


Then it happened- my Jeep pulled up. It wasn't a van. It wasn't family friendly. It was breathtaking. The
seats were cloth, the radio was loud, and the windows rolled down all the way! As we pulled off the lot, it all came back to me. The way I used to be. Before I was a housewife. Before I was a homeschooling mother of 3. Even before I was the fat sister.... I felt so young! So alive!

To tell the truth- I had almost forgotten. There used to be more. I used to wear cute little sundresses (and
fit in them!), I used to hang out with friends at somewhere other than Cici's pizza. I used to buy panties with
ruffles...Yes, I love being the housewife/homeschooling mother of 3. (I'd adopt 10 more kids if I could.) But
is that all I am? I've struggled with it off & on. More off than on lately. I've come to accept that I am almost 30. I now quickly realize that when the church says 'teen/young adult activity' that I'm not invited. I don't even swoon over college football players anymore- because I realize that I'm WAY too old for them. But I still feel like I forfeited a small part of my youth and femininity when I committed to the minivan. A part of me that I was actually quite fond of. A part of me that I have started to remember piece by piece since sitting in the driver seat of my little silver Jeep. In fact, I've been to Goodwill twice- and bought 6 cute little dresses! (Not quite as cute as they'd have been 20 lbs ago- but the important part is that I feel cute.) I've worn makeup more often, scrunchie less, and have shaved consistently. I'm even planning on taking my little jeep on an adult only roadtrip for a day.


Seems strange to say that Cinco de Mayo and a Jeep could be so revitalizing. But it's true.


Life won't always be this thrilling. Soon I'll be back in the gold minivan. But look closely- the real me will
still be there somewhere. Behind the automatic sliding doors & the windows that pop out instead of roll down. Beyond the blaring Disney Channel CD and the laughing kids. Somewhere amidst the ample seating. I'll still be there.

Toothbrushes...

This post is long overdue. But, it's a fun story- so I will share it. (Momma always said, 'Better late than never'.)

Back in the summer of last year, I went to our (wonderful) dentist to get my daughter's teeth cleaned. Everyone there knew we were in the process of adopting our two children from Ghana, West Africa. They graciously OFFERED to give us enough toothbrushes so that all children in the orphanage could have one.

 *Brand new toothbrushes, provided for the orphanaage by Cedar Bluff Dentistry, Simpsonville SC*



In October 2011, I finally set out to Ghana to bring Serwaa & Konto home. We spent a few days at the orphanage. On one of those days, 'Grandmother' (the orphanage directress)  had all of the children line up to receive their new toothbrushes. (They have to be lined up, because there is usually a riot when things are being given away. The children are not bad children. Deprivation will cause anyone to act this way.)

One by one, the kids came up to proudly take their new toothbrush, say a very sincere thank you, then run off. (I wish I could've gotten pictures, but they ran off to hide their new toothbrushes as soon as they got them.)

It was so fun to watch them. Especially the teenagers. You see, most of the toothbrushes were children's
toothbrushes shaped like rocket ships. It was so sweet watch the teenage girls beaming from ear to ear as they accepted their rocket ship toothbrushes. There is a level of appreciation there that is rarely seen in America.

When the line finally ended, there were a few more toothbrushes left. They were given to random children we found in the street. (It's pretty easy to find kids wandering around by themselves. If they have parents, they are usually at work. The older kids care for the younger kids all day.)

Since my children have come home, I've heard lots of stories about their dental hygeine in Ghana:


- When they were very small, they lived in a small hut with their grandmother. At one point they had a
toothbrush. But the kids all had to share it. (Much of the family lived in a little village. Any cousins are considered brothers and sisters. So who knows how many kids were using The Toothbrush!)


- If you don't have a toothbrush, you burn a piece of old cloth until it is very black, then you chew on it. This is what Serwaa & Konto usually did when they didn't have a toothbrush.


- People very often chew sticks or roots, which helps to keep their teeth clean.


- Another way to clean teeth is to chew on burnt charcoal. My children used to do this, too.

- If you get a toothache, cavity, infection, etc.... you just live with it. That's not usually something you go to the hospital for. Even the children lucky enough to have access to medical care probably won't be seen by a doctor until the problem has become very bad.
And just because they are so adorable- here are some of the kids who received the toothbrushes from Cedar Bluff!




Afia Ketewa



Madwo, Ivy, Paul



Maame Kwadu, Ivy, Maame Faith, Emina

 

Owosua & Yaa Rose


 

Eugene

 

Oleman & Askia



Amankwa & Paul



Five Month Update...

It's been five months. Already. My kids have been home for five months! It seems like yesterday that we were still fighting roadblock after roadblock to get them here. But then- it also seems odd to picture a time when they weren't here. Contradictory, I know. But true.

I am happy to give another boring report- The kids are still doing great!


Malorie: This is one tough kid. She's handled alot of change in her young life. For a long time, it was just the two of us. And life was great. It was very hard on her when we brought Al (my husband) into our family. She
had to share me for the first time. Then, we added a brother & sister. She has handled it like a true champion. However, that doesn't mean it is easy on her. Sometimes she feels like she's lost in the crowd, and just wants me to scoop her up & take her away. And sometimes I do. But I must say- she LOVES her sister. Sometimes she gets tired of being 'copied'. But she's a great big sister. I love spying on them when they're in their room playing & giggling & telling stories about Ghana... These two have a very special bond.

Serwaa: Growing up too quick. She has gained 10 lbs and grown two inches! She has shocked me with how quickly she is learning to read. I thought it would never happen, but she has seriously taken off at lightening speed! It's amazing! She is easy to get along with. She is definately the least fussy of all my children! Her bed-wetting is still an issue. But she is trying, and will overcome that too. All in good time. She has only had
one flare up of Malaria so far. She still likes to sleep an obsurd amount, but that may be due to her age. (As
a side note- I can't imagine coming to a new family, in a new country, and entering puberty all at the same
time. What a brave, brave girl!) She is doing great with food. She eats ALOT more now. She also loves to cook. I hope she will always love Ghana's food & cook it often. She misses her country and her friends. As do I. Maybe someday...


Konto: My big baby. The human necklace. He can generally be found hanging from my neck, clinging to my back, or sitting on me. Quite possibly THE most snuggly child in this world. I get at least 100 hugs a day. And not the flimsy obligatory hugs. I mean the good ones. The ones where you eventually have to pry the child off so that you can get something accomplished during the day. Sweetest boy ever. He hasn't need diapers at night for months now. He is still eating like a starving man, but has occassionally been able to realize he is full. (Even if it is after 18 pieces of pizza.) He has gained around 15 lbs & grown 2 inches! He loves to wear a suit & tie. He likes to act like his dad. (Going outside shirtless every Saturday to wash his bicycle...) He still HATES having his own room. It just feels too big and empty still compared to his room at the orphanage. He is still struggling with reading. He forgets which sounds come from which letters. But he loves books. He likes for me to read every library book about 3 times before returning it. He still gets his feelings hurt easy. And he still loves electricity. He is a VERY smart child. Move over Macgyver!

I am so glad to have everything still going so well. There couldn't have possibly been two kids in the whole
world that would've fit better into our family. It's an odd thing to experience (this 'un-natural' kind of bond). People ofter tell me that they're not sure they could love another kid like their own. Honestly, I wasn't always sure either. But it's like welding. Once the welder is finished, you really can't seperate the two pipes. It's just all one piece. That's kinda how I feel about the kids (bio & adopted). We're just all one piece.

Ghana-Style...

When my kids were living in an orphanage, there was only one way to handle disputes. Physically. If you want someone else's toy, you beat them and take it. If someone makes you mad, you beat them. If someone takes your things, you beat them.




When Serwaa & Konto first got here, there was a lot of beating. But it didn't take long at all for Malorie to teach them the art of tattle-telling. (She is an expert, after all.) And Serwaa & Konto picked up on it very quickly. Now, they will tell EVERYTHING. And it's never an abbreviated version. They tell the whole story. And many times it's ridiculous. Example:



"Mommy! My leggings get a hole. I say, 'O no, my leggings get a hole. Dis is not good.' And Konto say, 'Ooo, dis is good. Dis is very good.' And then he do me dis: (sticks tongue out). And I say 'Konto, don't do me dat!' And he doesn't mind me."



It's a little commical really. But it gets a little old some days! Sometimes I just wanna tell them to handle it themselves... Ghana-style!

Hair...

This post is mostly for my own memory. Serwaa's hair. (Just for the record- that Cowsills' song, Hair, is totally playing in my head right now.) One day I hope to look back and be like, "Man, I sure did get better at hair!". Hopefully. I gotta admit that I REALLY stink at this whole thing right now. I should've been studying and practicing doing black girl hair all along. But, in my defense, I assumed her head would be shaved when she got here. I thought I had lots of time to learn. I was wrong. She has lots of hair. I just gotta figure out what to do with it!

Our 1st picture

Dec 2010, when we met

The picture on the left was taken in the summer of 2011. This is how her hair still was in Oct 2011 when I went to pick them up. Once we got to Accra, we went to a braider & got it re-done (for $3).

Once we got home, it was an adventure. First, my friend came over to wash it for me. I have never seen SO MUCH DIRT come out of someone's hair before. It was amazing! Then my friend braided it. After that, Malorie styled it (and did a great job)! Since Malorie's style only lasted til it dried, I did some bantu knots. 

Then I tried to braid it. Poor child.

 Since that obviously didn't work, I paid someone else to braid it. I always remember my friend Washita saying something about being in the hair place for 6 hours. I almost didn't believe it. Now I do. It took 5!

Luckily, this lasted for about a month! After that, she has just kept it loose alot. (Thank goodness, because this could add up pretty quick!)

Her and Konto even wore a wig for awhile!

Next I tried braiding again. It was really raggedy-looking. But at least better than the first time. (Which isn't saying alot!) And- my crappy braiding took 4 hours! This morning we did some smaller bantu knots again. She likes it braided the best. So I guess I'll try it again tomorrow. Wish me luck!!

Names.....

People very often ask about our Ghanaian kid's names. So- here is the complete story of their names. (Or at least all I know of it.)



When the children were very young and living with their grandmother, their only names were Yaa and Yaw. (They may have actually been given other names at the naming ceremony, but nobody remembers them if they were.) Yaa is the day name for a female born on Thursday. Yaw is the name for a male born on Thursday. There were no middle or last names. Just Yaa and Yaw.


Eventually the grandmother and aunt were no longer able to care for the children, so they were brought to the orphanage. At that point they were given the names they currently go by: Serwaa (after the grandmother) and Konto (after the deceased grandfather). From then on, our son went by Konto. Our daughter was called Yaa Serwaa.


When the children started attending school at the orphanage, the school administrator wanted them to also have a more english name. She chose Felicity for Serwaa, and Jackson for Konto. (I believe that Jackson was suggested by his friend, Oleman.)


They have never had last names.

We took forever trying to decide what to actually name them legally. We were originally going to keep Felicity & Jackson. But after I spent a few weeks in Ghana calling them Yaa Serwaa & Konto, I just couldn't picture ever calling them anything else. So, we decided to drop the english names. (The kids may eventually hate us for that!) But, they had never actually gone by those names. In fact, Konto couldn't remember if his name was Jackson or Justice. And he didn't know how to write either one. And Felicity. Ever since that show 'Felicity' with the big-hair girl... I just never liked that name anyways! Plus- I just can't picture her as a Felicity. It just doesn't seem to fit.

So we looked for new middle names.

When I met Serwaa, she reminded me alot of my first born. She was shy, loved looking in the mirror, a drama queen at times, constantly posing & taking pictures of herself.... Like Malorie's long-lost african twin! The main difference was that Serwaa had a much older soul. (Like most of the children in the orphanage.)

In Ghana there are names for everything, including twins. Akwele is the name given to the elder twin. It is believed that in the case of twins, the one who is born first is younger. (The one who is born last is the elder twin, because it is mature enough to stay in the womb and help the younger child out before coming out itself.) So, although Malorie was born first, Serwaa has an older soul. That's why we decided to give her the name Akwele.


We didn't want to lose her day name, so we added it to her new middle name. She became Serwaa Akweleyaa Knight. (Although I still call her Yaa Serwaa occaisionally.)


On my last trip to Ghana, I kept hearing Konto's aunt calling him 'Wofa Yaw'. Wofa actually means 'uncle' in Twi. It's just a nickname that she had started calling him when he was a baby. It had a nice ring, so we decided to keep it!

So he is now Konto Wofayaw Knight.


There you have it. The (very long) story of our children's names!